Thursday, 26th February, 2009

I'm the only member of my family who is not an Australian citizen. Sometimes people ask me why that is and sometimes I ask myself and because I'm not sure of the answer I give flippant replies, such as, "I've only been here 28 years - early days, yet" or, "Hmmm, well, it didn't do David Hicks any good, did it?" I'd like to have an acceptable reason as Aussies can get a bit huffy about these things, although no one has actually told me to piss off back where I came from (yet).

I suppose I find it a bizarre idea that one can change one's nationality. This notion is not helped by the fact that the longer I stay in Australia the more English I feel and the possibility of "becoming an Australian" is not only remote but nonsensical. It was comforting to hear Bill Bryson in interview expressing a similar view when asked if he would like to become a UK citizen: "I am an American, it is a defining characteristic of me and the one thing I would feel odd about if I changed my nationality to British would be that I’m not really British, I mean, it would be like changing my hair colour or having cosmetic surgery or something, you know, it would be trying to be something that I am not,"

And then there's the problem of swearing allegiance to a country, not something I'd be comfortable with, either. If one wanted to swear allegiance (and I don't) it would have to be to something more noble, like truth, beauty, compassion, etc. and, anyway, it would cause a massive conflict of interest as I've already sworn allegiance to the Poms in the Ashes tests. To put it bluntly, I want Ricky Ponting and his mates totally annihilated.

So there it is: I live in Australia and have England in my veins. I come from a tiny island where the Romans marched, Shakespeare wrote, Constable painted; I have the Battle of Flodden Field and a couple of thousand years of history in my blood. I can't change it - and I love it. And there is nowhere I want to live out my Englishness than in Australia, beautiful land, beautiful land.