Sunday, October 29, 2006

Sunday, 29th October 2006.

Ah, daylight saving at last! Long evenings ahead, barbecues and gatherings in the garden, cicadas and mosquitoes and all things of summer. The jacaranda is in bloom and Sydney is swathed in great sweeps of purple, brilliant against the blue of the sky and the harbour. I drive around catching my breath and never forgetting how lucky I am to be here and even the sound of the blowfly in the kitchen is music to my ears. I am intoxicated with Sydney or Australia or Planet Earth or myself - it's hard to distinguish them one from another. I wonder why I put "myself" in lower case? A small attack of humility, maybe? The meek shall inherit the Earth - (or the Greeks, we're still working on that one).

Talking of the Greeks, my lovely landlord, who only ever wants me to be happy, arrived yesterday to install smoke alarms (IT IS THE LAW!) and we discussed where they should be placed. I suggested the garden but when he held one in front of me and asked me to blow smoke right into it, it didn't react at all so we should be ok when we have a kitchen full of folk getting shit faced.

I went to see "Little Miss Sunshine" the other day and hurt myself laughing. It's a road movie about a group of dysfunctional family members travelling across the U.S. in a Kombi. As I'm mad about Kombis and come from a dysfunctional family (who doesn't?) this was right up my street and the situations and dialogue had me groaning with pleasure. It is only in retrospect that we realise the oddities of our families. In the moment of existence everything appears normal and it is in recollection that we recognise what we have survived. When I was pregnant at 17 the serious advice I received was that my life was ruined. However, the main repercussion was that I became a grandmother at 38. No sweat. Life is good.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wednesday, 25th October 2006

At last, another entry! I'm so uncommited it's not true. I think I'm too happy to write. Perhaps, like Sylvia Plath, I should learn to court despair. I have written some bloody good stuff out of anguish so I'm not knocking it. And I would never consider my prolongued investigations of suffering not worthwhile. Double negative, dammit! Why is it that the UK medical journal, The Lancet, has just published a report that 650,000 Iraqis have been killed thus far and yet despite this horror I still see the overwhelming goodness of humanity? Maybe I should be locked up. Or tied down. (Oh, no, don't get me started). In spite of seeming massive evidence to the contrary (courtesy of the news media) I find myself living in a world full of kindly deeds and kept promises - and the more that fear is promoted, greater appear the manifestations of love. I'm bubbling over with love. My cork has popped. I can't contain myself any longer. Stand back or you'll get a hit and it will leave you gasping.